Brother of Frightened Rabbit frontman Scott Hutchison opens up about heartbreak on second anniversary of his death
Scott, 36, took his own life two years ago after a long-running struggle with his mental health.
The Frightened Rabbit frontman's body was found at Port Edgar, near South Queensferry, on May 10 2018 after he was reported missing.
Saturday marked two years since Scott's passing, and brother Neil has has described the three “flavours” of grief in a blog post written on the anniversary of his brother's death.
Since then, the Hutchison family have founded the charity Tiny Changes to educate young people on mental health.
To date, Tiny Changes, which is named after a Frightened Rabbit lyric from the song Heads Rolls Off, has raised more than £300,000.
Now, in an emotional post on his blog, titled ‘My Brother Scott’, Neil said his feelings of grief have “three distinct flavours” - "past, present and future".
Describing his memories, he wrote: "The 'past' is the collection of real actual memories I have of Scott, from our childhood together right up to the days of early May 2018, when we exchanged messages about topics as diverse as the cost of a pint of beer, hemorrhoids (his), and checking if he’d called Mum recently.
“These are happy memories in the main.
"I loved my brother very much and I had lots of joyful and fun times with him. I was, and still am, incredibly proud of the person he turned out to be and the things he went on to achieve.
“I am grateful that this 'past' grief is the predominant one inside my head most of the time.”
Neil wrote that this ‘present’ grief is only triggered at this time of year when he recalls the events of his brother’s death.
He writes that he can see from from Scott’s credit card receipts that his brother had purchased a chocolate and caramel cheesecake from Tesco only a matter of hours before he died.
Neil wrote: “I picture him enjoying that amid the unbearable torment he must have been feeling at the time.
“I try not to go too much deeper into how he would have been feeling that night.
"It’s not a helpful or healthy place for my mind to be."
Neil went on to say that his ‘future’ grief revolves around Scott’s life that “would have happened but didn’t”.
He wrote: “This is the most acutely painful aspect of the grief for me.
"My three kids remember him as their beloved Uncle Scott. And he has a new niece that didn’t get the chance to meet him.
"This really is the aspect that I find most tragic – the lost time with him for the next generation of his family'."
You can read more about the charity at www.tinychanges.com
If you have concerns over the mental health and well-being of a friend or loved one, contact Samaritans for free on 116 123.
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